Day 9 in the books...

Went to a nearby amusement park yesterday (Adventureland), which I went to every year when I was a kid. My husband and I took our kids a couple years ago. And then yesterday we took them again, and upon leaving I realized that for the first time in my life, I didn't eat any sugar at Adventureland!!! This is huge for me. It really is.

Went to the pool with the kids and some friends of ours today, and everyone (except for me!) got a sugary treat from the concession stand. I did buy a bag of popcorn, and it was yummy. :)

I feel so calm. I feel so peaceful. I can live this way.

I. Can. Live. This. Way.

It may be different from how 99.9% of other Americans are living, but I can do it. Why wouldn't I? First of all, I believe God has more in store for me, and sugar is a gigantic hurdle that I haven't been able to get over in order to get to the next part of His plan. Second of all, I feel so wonderful physically & emotionally when sugar is outta here.

I will be working on my next goal. My first (kinda) goal was to go a week with no sugar. I have some other goals I want to reach, so I'll be putting those in writing in the next couple days.

I know, I know...you can't wait. You're on the edge of your seat. What could her goals possibly be? She's already achieved SO much in the last nine days!! LOL!!! I love that no one reads these, and I'm writing as if they do. I'll look back some day and LOVE this post. Specifically, I will love this paragraph of this post. I crack me up.

Peace out, World!!
:)

The Long Haul

Geared up for Day 7 of no sugar today!! Feeling fantastic!!

FYI, I'll probably repeat myself in these posts because I can't remember if I've posted it or just told a friend in person, so just skip over anything you already know. ;)

I've noticed that since giving up sugar, I don't crave the other stuff. Other stuff, meaning: bread, fast food, salty food, etc. I didn't expect that to happen.

Here is my recent revelation (Although, it's been revealed to me before. This time, however, I'm choosing to say it out loud and write it here to my zero readers so it will hopefully make a lasting impression on me.). Here it is:

I cannot eat sugar.

Okay, so obviously I've said that before. But I need to further explain (to myself) that I cannot just have "that one piece of Halloween candy" this year. I cannot just have "that one piece of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving." I cannot just have "that one Christmas cookie" (let alone participate in a cookie exchange this year!). I cannot just have "that one piece of birthday cake." Get it? Do you get it, Kari?? I got it.

It was hard to say this aloud to my husband the other night. It's like it made it real and that I have to be done with my addiction now. I like sugar. I like the taste of things with sugar in them. However, I hate how these things make me feel, act and look.

Therefore, I have to be in this for the long haul. I am in this for the long haul. There. I said it. If I reach for as much as a little chocolate chip, I know I'm going to spiral.

Fair warning. Don't do it, Kari!!!

Okay, I'll stop talking to myself now.

Day 5

So I'm heading into day 5 (July 31) of no sugar.

I. Feel. Awesome.

I don't even know what else to say. I just feel so energetic, hopeful, happy, etc, etc, etc!!

I did eat a protein bar yesterday that contained some sugar. Some may say, "Well, then you're not sugar free!" It is what it is. This is my journey, and I'm going to listen to my body and do my best to do what's best for it.

I have a phrase I've been using, and that is "blatant sugar." My dictionary defines 'blatant" as: "completely obvious, especially in a crass, offensive manner." Ha! I love it. Sugar is extremely offensive to me! My body is constantly on the defense when I'm ingesting loads of blatant sugar.

In my little mind, my definition of blatant sugar is sugar includes foods like cake, ice cream, candy bars, candy, etc. Those are the types of foods that have me coming back for more and more and more, and those are the types of foods I am avoiding. A protein bar that has a little bit of sugar doesn't make me want more. For someone else, however, it may, so everyone has to know their own body well in order to make that decision.

Some observations thus far:

1. My craving for sugar is so little, if even there at all. My family went out for ice cream last night, and I had NO desire! Nada.

2. My cravings for other foods are diminished. I don't crave breads as much. I don't crave fast food.

3. My stomach has shrunk! It's not flat by ANY means, but I felt a noticable difference this morning while laying in bed. Then I measured, and I've lost a couple inches already. I'm sure it's water retention/bloating. Whatever it was, it's gone, and I'll take it!

Loving this journey so far.

Letting Go Can Hurt...

...like, physically hurt.

So I'm being a tad dramatic, but this is day 2 of no sugar (July 28), and I'm feeling some effects. Namely, I've had a headache today, and I feel pretty tired. I feel like I could go to bed right now, and it's 5:00 p.m.!

I think part of the problem is that I'm probably not eating enough calories. I need to figure this healthy thing out. ;) I'm so used to getting soooo many calories from sugary foods that I feel a tad lost, even though I know what's good for me and what's not. Part of it is that I need to stock my kitchen a little better.

I am so happy that I've gotten through. I would usually stop my headache with something cakey and frosting-y. Little Debbie Zebra Cake comes to mind. Swiss Cake Roll, anyone? Anyway, even though I've felt sort of yucky today, it's nothing compared to the bloated, completely stuffed, utterly disappointed and defeated feeling I have felt even as recently as Tuesday of this week! Yuck.
So I'm keeping on. I'll need to get more creative with what I eat, try new recipes, perhaps. But for now, I just need to get the sugar out of my system. Yes, that is what I need to do.

:)

The devil made me do it

Aaah. . .summer is over. Chilly mornings have been waking me up. . .the neighbor kids are back in school. . .we have started our homeschool year, and there is, once again, peace on the homefront. Sweet peace. . .

. . .Except for the spiritual wars going on inside me, of course.

I have many wars in many areas of my life that I need to "give to God." What does that even mean? I've said it over and over, even weeping at times. . ."God, I surrender. This is yours. Please take this burden from me." And I wait. . . Nope. Nothing seems different.

Darn Satan! If he'd just leave me alone, I wouldn't have these problems! Right? Yeah. . .no.

To quote one of my favorite songs (that you can hear on my playlist to the left, if you'd like) by Sara Groves, "Generations":

To say that the devil made me do it is a copout and a lie
The devil can't make me do anything when I'm calling on Jesus Christ!

It's not the devil's doin', although he is constantly poking at me. The Bible tells us that we have authority over him. (So in the name of Jesus, get behind me, Satan!!!!!)

It's not that God doesn't want to take my burdens from me. It's that I take my eyes off of Him. It's like Peter in the boat. Peter told Jesus, "Lord, if it's you, tell me to come to you on the water." Jesus simply replied, "Come." Peter walked on the water, but as soon as he took his eyes off of Jesus and let fear creep in, he began to sink.

It seems so simple, yet, the distractions of this life draw our eyes elsewhere, in the opposite direction of God. I have been praying for focus. . .focus on Him. And He has answered. I suspect He's always answered me in one way or another. I've just made the foolish mistake many times in the past of asking and then just expecting all to be well. This time I have asked, believed and kept my eyes on Him. The peace and comfort and power and freedom I'm feeling are immense. And this, I believe, is what He wants for me.

I hope and pray the same for you. (Really! I just prayed for you!) :)

He Delights in Me

The most beautiful thing happened last night, and I didn't even realize it until I woke up this morning.

Actually, let me back up and give you some insight into how I have been feeling lately. And by lately, I mean for at least the last eight years.

So I've been feeling inadequate, falling short of being special to anyone, just kind of "there." I have mainly felt inadequate in the eyes of my husband. Mind you, he has never told me I am inadequate, but his [perhaps] inadvertent actions speak loudly. That's a whole other show, though, so I won't go into details. Let me assure you that I love my husband. He is a good man.

So I woke up this morning, and these words were in my head: "He sings over me." What? I frantically searched my brain to find where these words came from. I wanted more. Oh, please give me more! So I prayed. God, please show me where these words came from so I can go to that book or that magazine article or wherever to find more. He showed me these words written on a piece of notebook paper. Hmm. So I sat quietly. And then it hit me. This was in my dream last night!! How cool! So I tried to remember more of my dream, but to no avail.

So what next? I turned to the computer. I searched for "He sings over me," and I was led to Zephaniah 3:17:

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (NIV)

Then I thought I'd check the Message translation:

". . .don't despair. Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, he'll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs."

And then I found this song, "The Father's Song," by Matt Redman.

I've been looking to the wrong source, wishing for more from my husband when all along, God has been loving me the way I need to be loved, singing songs over me, calming me with His wonderful love. I realize all I have to do now is be present, be still, be accepting of this intense love that He offers me. Only He can fill this hole in my heart. Only He can take away the pain.

Does this mean I'm done feeling inadequate in my husband's eyes? I suppose not. But I am hopeful I can get to that place. Will I stop hoping that my husband will do/say things that make me feel special like he used to? I suppose not. Will I still be crushed when my husband does/says things that make me feel inadequate and hopeless to ever measure up to his standards? I suppose so.

But my heart's desire is that this verse, which has just found its place in my heart, will allay the pain in the future. I will take refuge in the presence of my Warrior who sings songs over me. When I seek His face and sit at His feet, He doesn't just allow me to be in His presence. He rejoices over me with singing!!!!! The Creator of all sings over me?

Heavenly Father, please allow this verse, this truth, to sink into my heart and reside there forever. I pray that you will allow me to see how special I am in YOUR eyes. You are so faithful, Lord, and I have fallen short. Not only have you forgiven me, but you saved me, you delight in me, you wash over me with your peace. You sing songs over me. I am humbled by your grace. Please fill my life again. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Be vigilant, my friends

In my quiet time this morning (a rare pleasure!), I was reading a devotional from Streams in the Desert, and I'd like to share an excerpt with you today.

The Bible verse to focus on is 1 John 5:4. . .Everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

If a person allows it, he can find something at every turn of the road that will rob him of his victory and his peace of mind. Satan is far from
retiring from his work of attempting to deceive and destroy God's
children. At each milestone of your life, it is wise to check the
temperature of your experience in order to be keenly aware of the surrounding conditions.

If you will do this and firmly exhibit your faith at the precise moment,
you can sometimes actually snatch victory from the very jaws of defeat.

God is still on the throne, and He can turn defeat into victory in a split
second, if we will only trust Him.

"Be keenly aware of the surrounding conditions," I love that. Gosh, it is so important, and it's something about which I need to be more vigilant. There are temptors everywhere, and depending on your vice, you can be bombarded seemingly at every turn. Commercials, billboards, magazines. There are a wide variety of sins that can be carried out just by looking at one of those three things.

But I was enlightened the other day while having coffee at a friend's house. There were three of us there, all Christian women seeking to further their relationship with Christ. Not a place I would expect to be sucked into sin. Sure enough, we got to talking, and by the end of our several-hour-long conversations, we were all convicted that at the beginning of our talk, we were gossiping. We recognized the sin and turned from it. We now have a plan to have a Bible verse or Christian topic to be the focus of our future discussions.

Whatever road you're traveling today, I pray that you will stop and pray before each turn.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

Lacking Fruit

Photo courtesy of Flickr

So as I lay awake in bed in the middle of the night (this morning), I began to reflect on my behaviors, attitudes, actions and thoughts lately. In particular, God showed me that I have fallen way short in the areas of patience and self-control (in many areas of my life). I snap at my kids, my husband. I then berate myself for snapping. I recently joined a Fit by Fall challenge, and I have been eating like a madwoman ever since! I, again, berate myself for lacking self-control. Nothing comes fast enough. Everyone is on my last nerve, including me!! :}

So I was laying there wondering, Where has my patience gone? My self-control? God gently reminded me that these two characteristics are fruit of the Spirit. [Edit: After re-reading this post, I realized that it is not just those two characteristics I'm lacking. I'm lacking in all of the fruit of the Spirit. If I am lacking in one of those areas, I am lacking in all of them. They are all intertwined. I've never looked at it like that before! Thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes.]

Well, friends, I have not been tending to my Spirit. Like a garden, my Spirit must be cultivated. I've barely touched it in the past couple weeks. I went on vacation, brought my Bible with me and never even took it out of my suitcase. Just like I can't expect my flowers to bloom if I don't water them and feed them, I can't expect the Spirit within me to bear the fruit God so desires for me if I don't feed it the Word of God.

So I go into this Thursday, and invite you to join me, with Galatians 5:22-26 close to my heart:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Make 'em wonder what you've got!!

If you listen to Christian radio, you've probably heard the song "Shine" by the Newsboys (click on my Playlist to the left if you want to hear it!). As I was listening to it in the van today, I thought, I'm going to make a concerted effort as I go through this coming week to SHINE for Jesus!!!!! Yes, indeedy, I should be doing that always, but I'm going to be particulary vigilant this week. I am going to carry a note with me that will include:

Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. Isaiah 60:1

Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever. Daniel 12:3 NIV

And also the chorus to the "Shine" song:

SHINE!
Make 'em wonder what you've got
Make 'em wish that they were not
On the outside looking bored
SHINE!
Let it shine before all men
Let 'em see good works, and then
Let 'em glorify the Lord!
SHINE!

Won't you shine with me this week? :)