Friday, January 29, 2010

There is a Season

Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."

I've often heard of different stages of our lives be called "seasons." I've even referred to the many different seasons I've encountered. The interesting thing I've realized lately is that I usually don't realize the season I'm in until I'm well into it or it's almost over.

That brings me into the season I'm currently in. It hit me a few weeks ago that I don't have a baby or toddler or a really dependent child anymore. My kids are 8 1/2 and almost 6. Wow. I'm quick, huh? Haven't had a toddler for a while. I think I was in such a fog for so long that I didn't know who I was, where I was, what I was doing, where I was going.

I really think the baby/toddler stage was not a good one for me. Please don't misunderstand. I have loved my kids more than life itself since day 1. I have loved many different stages of their lives, and each one seemed more precious than the previous. But it was hard for me. I'm sure it's hard for everyone, but it sure seemed like everyone else had it waaay more together than I did. I struggled. I was in la-la land much of the time, just trying to rise above sleep deprivation and the constant needs of my children. Their needs frustrated me. Sounds selfish, huh?

I think I was selfish to an extent, but I also think my state of mind was due to immaturity, both emotional and spiritual immaturity. I didn't know how to care for these sweetie pies the way they needed to be cared for. I would do so many things differently if I had the chance to go back. Then again, I realize that I am who I am and my kids are who they are because of the way our lives have played out up to this point.

I now truly feel present in my own life. When it hit me the other day that my kids are getting more independent, I breathed a sigh of relief and thought, "Wow! I can breathe!" I mean that literally too! I used to have anxiety to the point I couldn't get a deep breath. Oh, I was overwhelmed. I attribute a lot of that to lack of sleep with baby, toddler and a wacky work schedule that required me at times to get up in the middle of the night to work.

So I look back on those tough years knowing that I have tough years ahead as well. I am relieved to be done with those baby/toddler years, yet I am sad it's gone so quickly. I would like to have been more present for my kids in years past.

However, I know that there is "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance," (Ecc. 3:4), and I certainly intend to laugh and dance more in this season and in the seasons to come. I want to be an example of grace and stability for my children. I want them to see Jesus in me. I want to them to learn to laugh and dance in the presence of God and His blessings, and I want them to learn to laugh and dance in the midst of tribulation.

God is so good to me.


Jennifer @ Getting Down With Jesus said...

So nice to "see" you again. Glad that your current season allowed a bit of time for you to post. I missed you ...

He & Me + 3 said...

Glad you are blogging again. I think each season has its highs and lows...but God is good and gracious throughout them all. So thankful for His Faithfulness.

Janet said...

Just popping in to say HELLO!

Your baby days are over? Do they have to be?

I am thinking of getting some back. Ours are 13 and 10. Am I crazy? I want more... I think I'd be a better mom.


Daughter of the King said...

Hi, girls! Thanks, it's good to be back. I've missed being around and reading your blogs. It's fun to catch up.

Janet, I think I'm good with baby days being over. ;) And, no, I don't think you're crazy for wanting more babies. We're all called in different ways. My husband's mom had two kids, waited 15 years and had two more. Whatever works! :)

Deborah Ann said...

Oh girl, do I ever know about that sigh of relief. Past the diapers and midnight feedings. Then after my kids grew up, we had to raise our grandkids. But I have to say, those were the best years of my life!

Anonymous said...

God bless I loved seeing your post it reminds me of Gods faithfulnesss in whatever we go through. I cant wait to read more.

LisaShaw said...

Aww, those seasons of life...some are high and others low but when we trust GOD all the way through it we learn what we need to learn, draw closer to HIM and come out on the other side of that season fierce!! HE is awesome!!!

Thank you for the sharing of your heart Dana. I pray blessings over you.

Janet - AKA: Latte Lady said...

Wishing you a blessed season!


Pamela said...

I was blest to have a husband who took the nighttime shift with my babies. It made such a difference to what my attitude could be during the day. His work allowed it and I'm sure others wouldn't be able to. So happy you get to homeschool them now.